Cocktail Counterpoint

I joined the Foreign Legion with a sabre in my hand
I crawled across the desert with my belly in the sand
With men who loved their camels and their brandy and I swear
Nobody dished
Nobody swished when I was a Foreign Legionnaire.

Would you like an hors d'oeuvre?
Here, let me help. Mama, Papa?
How adorable these dishes are
Are these youngsters playing together?
They look like Greeks.

Oh, what lovely dishes!
They're so delicate and frail
Mine have naked children
I believe they're only male
Oops! I think they're playing some exoctic, little game
Oops! I think that "Leap-frog" it is the name.

This is even worse than I feared
The son is strange
The father is weird
To meet the wife, I'm actually afraid
I prefer that Anne remain an old maid.

My wife and I are devoted couple
And my son knows how much I love him and to what extremes
but my wife... Oh I love her like an ani-mal.

It's apalling to confess
Our new in-laws are a mess
She's a prude, he's a prig
She's a pill, he's a pig
So zis zis zis for you, Papa.

I joined the Foreign Legion with a sabre in my hand
I crawled across the desert with my belly in the sand
With men who loved their camels and their brandy and I swear
Nobody dished
Nobody swished when I was a Foreign Legionnaire.

Oh, what lovely dishes!
They're so delicate and frail
Mine have naked children
I believe they're only male
Oops! I think they're playing some exoctic, little game
Oops! I think that "Leap-frog" it is the name.

This is even worse than I feared
The son is strange
The father is weird
To meet the wife, I'm actually afraid
I(he) prefer(s) that Anne (I) remain an old maid.

It's apalling to confess
Our new in-laws are a mess
She's a prude, he's a prig
She's a pill, he's a pig
So zis zis zis for you, Papa.

I joined the Foreign Legion with a sabre in my hand
I crawled across the desert with my belly in the sand
With men who loved their camels and their brandy and I swear
Nobody dished
Nobody swished when I was a Foreign Legionnaire.

Oh, what lovely dishes!
They're so delicate and frail
Mine have naked children
I believe they're only male
Oops! I think they're playing some exoctic, little game
Oops! I think that "Leap-frog" it is the name.

This is even worse than I feared
The son is strange
The father is weird
To meet the wife, I'm actually afraid
I(he) prefer(s) that Anne (I) remain an old maid.

It's apalling to confess
Our new in-laws are a mess
She's a prude, he's a prig
She's a pill, he's a pig
So zis zis zis for you, Papa
Here's mother!