Darkness

I'm scared of swimming in the sea
Dark shapes moving under me
Every fear I swallow makes me small
Inconsequential things occur
Alarms are triggered
Memories stir.

It's not the way it has to be.

I'm afraid of what I do not know
I hate being undermined
I'm afraid I can be devil man
And I'm scared to be divine
Don't mess with me my fuse is short
Beneath this skin these fragments caught.

When I allow it to be
There's no control over me
I have my fears
But they do not have me.

Walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods
The deeper I go, the darker it gets
I peer through the window
Knock at the door
And the monster I was
So afraid of
Lies curled up on the floor
Is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy.

I cry until I laugh.

I'm afraid of being mothered
With my balls shut in the pen
I'm afraid of loving women
And I'm scared of loving men
Flashbacks coming in every night
Don't tell me everything's alright.

When I allow it to be
It has no control over me
I own my fear
So it doesn't own me.

Walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods
The deeper I go, the darker it gets
I peer through the window
Knock at the door
And the monster I was
So afraid of
Lies curled up on the floor
Is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy.

I cry until I laugh.