Dentist!

When I was younger
Just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash in it's head
Thats when my momma said
What did she say?
She said my boy I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay!
You'll be a Dentist!

You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist!
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperamant's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less!
Son, be a dentist!
You'll be a success!

Here he is, girls, the Leader of The Plaque
Watch him suck up that gas! Oh my God!
He's a Dentist and he'll never-ever be any good!
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
Oh, that hurts! I'm not numb!

Aw shut up! Open wide! Here I come!
((Back to singing))
I am your Dentist!
(Goodness Gracious!)
And I enjoy the career that I picked!
(You love it)
I am your Dentist!
(Fitting braces!)
And I get off on the pain I inflict!
(You really love it!)
And though it may cause my patients distress
Distress!
Somewhere in heaven above me
I know that my mama's proud of me!
Oh Mama!
Cause I'm a dentist
And a success!

((The following final part is spoken))
Say "Ah"!
Ah
Say "Ah"!
Ah
Say "Ah"!
Ah
Now, spit!