The Meek Shall Inherit

Seymour Krelbourn, so finally we meet you
This is an occasion. Let's toast it. Up yours
Relax. Canape??? Let's talk turkey. Sign here
And we'll book you on lecturing tours.

Be a star. And we're sending photographers Thursday
So get the plant ready and wear a clean shirt
Just sign this release. Need a pen? Aren't you thrilled?
It's the cover of Life magazine. Dessert?

I'm telling you son, it's a cinch to get ratings
The title is Marvin's. The concept is mine
The first weekly gardening show on a network
And you're gonna host it, you lucky kid, sign.

They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And you're a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em by and by.

My future's starting
I've got to let it
Stick with that plant, and gee, my bank account will thrive
What am I saying? No way! Forget it!
It's much too dangerous to keep that plant alive.

I take these offers, that means more killing
Who knew success would come with messy, nasty strings?
I sign these contracts, that means I'm willing
To keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things.

No! No! There's only so far you can bend
No! No! This nightmare must come to an end
No! No! You've got no alternative, Seymour old boy
Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed
It's the only solution. It can't be avoided
The vegetable must be destroyed.

But then there's Audrey, lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry and impov'rished as before
She might not like me, she might not want me
Without my plant, she might not love me anymore.

They say the meek shall inherit
Where do I sign?
You know the book doesn't lie
Right on the line?
It's not a question of merit
That'll do fine
It's not demand and supply
This copy's mine?
You'll make a fortune, we swear it.

Bye bye. So long
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em
By and by.