Funny Honey

Sometimes Im right
Sometimes Im wrong
But he doesnt care
Hell string along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine.

Sometimes Im down
Sometimes Im up
But he follows round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He love me so
That sunny honey of mine.

He aint no sheik
Thats no great physique
Lord knows, he aint got the smarts.

Oh, but look at that soul
I tell you, the whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts.

And if you knew him like me
I know youd agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why, hed be right there
Taking the blame.

He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey
Hubby of mine.

A mans got a right to protect his home
And his loved ones, right?
Of course, he has.

Well, I came in from the garage, officer, and i
See him coming through the window. With my
Wife roxanne there, sleepin...like an angel.

He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
...an angel!

I mean supposin, just supposin, he had violated
Her or somethin...you know what I mean...
Viloated?
I know what you mean...

...or somethin. Think how terrible that would have been
Its a good thing I came home from work on time
Im tellin ya that! I say Im tellin ya that!
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine.

Name of deceased... Fred casely
Fred casely. How could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him! He sold us our furniture!

Lord knows he aint got the smarts
She lied to me. She told me he was a burglar!
You mean he was dead when you got home?

She had him covered with a sheet and shes givin
Me that cock and bull story abou this burglar, and
I ought to say that I did it cause I was sure to get off
Burglar, huh!

Now, he shot off his trap
I cant stand that sap
Look at him go
Rattin on me
With just one more brain
What a half-wit hed be.

If they string me up
Ill know who
Brought the twine.

And I believed her!
That cheap little tramp. So, she
Was two-timing me, huh?
Well, then, she can just
Swing for all I care
Boy, Im down at the garage
Working my butt off fourteen
Hours a day and shes up mucnhin
On god-damn bon bons and jazzing
This time she pushed me too far
That little chiseler
Boy, what I sap I was!

That scummy, crummy
Dummy hubby of mine!