Happy Anniversary (Bon Anniversaire)

I've been ready for hours and I'm wearing my best
Ordered champagne and flowers and you're not even dressed
Tonight's a special night to remember with pride
These twenty happy years since you became my bride
It is all too absurd; you're so cross and abrupt
But I don't say a word or you're bound to erupt
Your peculiar moods I've experienced before
So I pour another drink and quietly pace the floor
It's a quarter to eight as we fretfully wait
For your little black dress; that was promised by six
Is it just rotten luck when we're doing the town
That the fates should conspire to let us mortals down?
I have seats for a show, and it's opening night
My shoes do not fit me and my suit is too tight
And you sit there and curse, an occasional curse
And I've got a headache that's quickly getting worse.

Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary.

They deliver your frock, but you're still in distress
It was past nine o'clock when I helped you to dress
I tried to do you up but it wasn't my day
For then to fill my cup, your zipper stuck half way
I got all in a sweat, over anxious and vexed
Will I ever forget the thing that happened next
Your dress just came apart with one terrible tear
Your disappointed cries were more than I could bear
At eleven, at last, when we got into town
We arrived at the show but the curtain was down
I suggested a bite but no, no, you wanted to walk
You had no appetite and no desire to talk
So we strolled for an hour and the evening was sweet
And I bought you a flower from a man in the street
And we kissed on the sidewalk, without reason or rhyme
Where we knew that our love is stronger than time.

Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary.