I Hate Men

I hate men
I can't abide 'em even now and then
Than ever marry one of them, I'd rest a maiden rather
For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother
Of course, I'm awfully glad that Mother had to marry Father
But I hate men
Of all the types I've ever met within our democracy
I hate most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy
He may have hair upon his chest but, sister, so has Lassie
Oh, I hate men!

I hate men
They should be kept like piggies in a pen
Avoid the trav'ling salesman though a tempting
Tom he may be
For on your wedding night he may be off to far Araby
While he's away in Mandalay is thee who have the baby.

Oh I hate men.
If thou shouldst wed a businessman, be wary, oh, be wary
He'll tell you he's detained in town on business necessary
His bus'ness is the bus'ness with his pretty secretary
Oh I hate men!

I hate men
Though roosters they, I will not play the hen
If you espouse and older man through girlish optimism
He'll always stay at home at night and make no criticism
Though you may call it love, the doctors call it rheumatism
Oh, I hate men.

From all I've read, alone in bed, from A to Zed, about 'em
Since love is blind, then from the mind, all womankind should rout 'em
But, ladies, you must answer too, what would we do without 'em?
Still, I hate men!