I Know A Girl

[Velma]
Can you imagine?
I mean can you imagine?
Do you believe it?
I mean, do you believe it?

I know a girl
A girl who lands on top
You could put her face
Into a pail of slop
And she'd come up smelling like a rose
How she does it, heaven knows.

[Reporter]
Hold on, everybody, she's comin' out now.
(Roxie enters, followed by a very happy Doctor.)
Well, Doctor, is she or isn't she?

[Velma]
She is.

[Doctor]
She is!

[Velma]
I know a girl
A girl with so much luck
She could get run over by a two-ton truck
Then brush herself off and walk away
How she does it, I couldn't say.

[Billy]
So, Doc, would you swear to that statement in court?

[Doctor] Oh, yeah.

[Billy] Good...you wanna button your fly?

[Velma]
Whilst I on the other hand
Put my face in a pail of slop
And I would smell like a pail of slop
I, on the other hand
Get run over by a truck
And I am deader than a duck.

I know a girl who tells so many lies
Anything that's true would truly cross her eyes
But what that mouse is selling
That whole world buys
And nobody smells a rat.

[Roxie]
Oh, please Ladies and Gentlemen of the press - leave the two of us alone so that we can rest.

[Velma]
The two of us?
Can you imagine?
I mean, can you imagine?

[Reporter] Can I have one last picture, please?

[Roxie]
Oh, sure, anything for the press.

[Velma]
Do you believe it?
I mean, do you believe it?