If I Had A Fine White Horse

If I had a fine white horse
I'd take you for a ride today
But since I have no fine white horse
Inside I'll have to stay
And empty all the chamber pots
And scrub the floors and such
But what's there to do on a fine white horse
It seems to me not much.

If I had a wooden boat
I'd take you for a sail today
But since I have no wooden boat
Inside I'll have to stay
And catch and kill the mice
And pluck the chickens for the cook
But what's there to do on a wooden boat
But sit up straight and look.

And worry our boat will start to drift
And float us out to sea
And land us on an isle of gold
Oh dear, oh dearie me.

If I had a chamber maid
I'd take you out to play today
They say out there's a maze where
Once you enter, there you stay
For certain we'd get lost
And they'd come looking for our bones
And find us sometime late next week
And bring us tea and scones.

But what if there's a clan of
Trolls-a-campin' 'neath a tree
Or what of there's a pirate's cave
Oh dear, oh dear
Oh dearie me.

If I wasn't so afraid
I'd take you out the door today
But talking birds and tales of
Fairies keep me scared away
And yes, I promised not to tell what
Else is there, although
If in the maze you chance to see
A garden guarded by a tree
And meet a girl who speaks to thee
Then come and tell me fine white horse
And me.