JASON
Whizzer, hey!
Suddenly it all came clear:
I said, let's have my bar mitzvah here!
MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA
Surprise!
MARVIN
This was Jason's brilliant idea!
And I brought the prayer shawl
MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA
Ooo
It's Jason's bar mitzvah!
MENDEL
Don't you move
Everything will soon be great
Close your eyes
While we redecorate
CORDELIA
I'll unwrap the billion hors d'oeuvres
And someone, please, eat them
TRINA
Photo
ALL
Ooo
It's Jason's bar mitzvah!
TRINA
Lovely, flowers make things lovely
Champagne makes things lovely, too
Everything's amiss
MENDEL
Drink up!
Anyone for bubbly?
TRINA
Probably, it's doubly useful at a time like this
Cheers
MENDEL AND WHIZZER
Cheers
TRINA
And aren't things lovely?
I feel more helpless than I have in years
MARVIN
Try this on
Mendel, get this thing in gear
WHIZZER
Please excuse me if I interfere
But I feel that, since I'm the host
It's me who should toast him
MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA
Ooo, ooo
WHIZZER
To Jason's bar mitzvah!
[The men depart to help Jason get ready]
CHARLOTTE
I notified the nurses
Told them please to not intrude
CORDELIA
I passed around the food
And dumped some extra food
'Cause, Lord knows, we've got plenty
CHARLOTTE
She's cooked for some 200 guests
CORDELIA
We number not that many
Actually... we're seven
CHARLOTTE
Maybe it's not dumb
The way this whole thing ends
The food tastes really yummy
CORDELIA
Oh, mummy
TRINA
Lovely
CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA
The flowers seem to sparkle
The candelabra sets the tone
TRINA
I must make things
CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA
The wine is very soothing
TRINA
Lovely
CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA
Soothes the "something, something"
Someone needed soothing
TRINA
Put everything
CHARLOTTE
I think, perhaps, I'm overdressed
TRINA
In its place
CORDELIA
I think, perhaps, it doesn't matter
TRINA
Ready for the
CORDELIA
That you are
TRINA
Band
CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA
Here we are
Jason's bar mitzvah looks
Like the books say it should
TRINA, CHARLOTTE, AND CORDELIA
Cheers
TRINA
And aren't things lovely?
CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA
Everything is lovely
TRINA, CHARLOTTE, AND CORDELIA
I feel more helpless than I have in years
[Whizzer and Mendel enter, followed by Marvin and Jason]
MENDEL AND WHIZZER
Here he comes
MENDEL
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun
Fix his tie
Trina, try
To make him smile more
WHIZZER, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA
Don't know why
But he looks like Marvin
MARVIN
How did you turn out so great?
Who do I thank for the man you've turned into?
Kid, do you know
How proud I am?
If I don't show
How proud I am...
You hold my dreams
Kid, I burst at the seams
'Cause of you
MENDEL
Son of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
Son of Marvin, Son of Trina, Son of Whizzer, Son of Mendel
MARVIN, WHIZZER, TRINA, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA
And godchild to the lesbians from next door
MENDEL
Sing
Oh, sing
Oh, sing
JASON
Vie-eme-low yea-o-leh
Heh-oh-non vi-low
Ah-yis-is-ooh ay-ysi-ro-ale
Ha-ooh low toe vo-o-meem aboh
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