Kansas City

I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y
By Sattidy I larned a thing or two
For up to then I didn't have an idy
Of whut the modren world was comin' to!

I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel's
Almost ev'ry time I tuk a walk.
'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone and a strange womern started in to talk!
(Whut next! Yeak whut!)
Whut next?

Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they c'n go!
They went and built a skyscr*per seven stories high
About as high as a buildin' orta grow.

Ev'rythin's like a dream in Kansas City
It's better than a magic lantern show!
Y' c'n turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat
With ev'ry kind o' comfort ev'ry house is all complete.

You c'n walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet!
They've gone about as fur as they can go
(Yes sir!)
They've gone about as fur as they can go!

Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they can go!
They got a big theayter they call a burlesque
Fer fifty cents you can see a dandy show.

One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty
As round above as she was round below
I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel
But then she started dancin' and her dancin' made me feel
That ev'ry single thing she had was absolutely real.

She went about as fur as she could go
(Yes sir!)
She went about as fur as she could go!