Kansas City

I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y
By Sattidy I learned a thing or two
'Coz up to then I didn't have an idy
Of whut the modren world was comin' to!
I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel's
Almost ev'ry time I tuk a walk
'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone
And a strange women started in to talk!

To you?
Whut next!
Yeah whut!

Whut next? Gather 'round!
Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they c'n go!
They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high
About as high as a buildin' orta grow.

Ev'rythin's like a dream in Kansas City
It's better than a magic lantern show!
You can turn the radiator on
Whenever you want some heat
With ev'ry kind o' comfort
Ev'ry house is all complete
You c'n walk to privies in the rain
And never wet your feet!
They've gone about as fur as they can go
They've gone about as fur as they can go!

Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they c'n go!
They got a big theayter they call a burleeque
Fer fifty cents you can see a dandy show.

Gals?

One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty
As round above as she was round below
I could swear that she was padded
From her shoulder to her heel
But latter in the second act
When she began to peel.

She proved that ev'rythin'
she had was absolutely real!
She went about as fur as she could go
Yes sir!
She went about as fur as she could go!