La Vie Bohème

ANGEL
Who died?

BENNY
Our Akita

ANGEL ROGER
Evita

BENNY
You make fun - yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your
Stoop every night?
Bohemia Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead.

MARK
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes.

COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae - dies illa Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v'yitkadash.

MARK
Here she lies no one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On these nights when we
Celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass - you bet your ass to -
La vie Boheme.

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hookey making
Something out of nothing
The need to express-
To communicate
To going against the grain
Going insane going mad
To loving tension no pension
To more than one dimension
To starving for attention
Hating convention hating pretension
Not to mention of course
Hating dear old Mom and Dad
To riding your bike
Midday past the three-piece suits
To fruits - to no absolutes-
To Absolute - to choice-
To the Village Voice-
To any passing fad
To being an us for once ... instead of a them!!

ALL
La vie Boheme La vie Boheme

MR. GREY
Ahhemm

MAUREEN
Hey Mister - she's my sister

WAITER
So that's five miso soup four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls.

ROGER
Eww

COLLINS
It tastes the same

MIMI
If you close your eyes

WAITER
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers
Made in local breweries
To yoga to yogurt to rice and beans and cheese
To leather to dildos to curry vindaloo
To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou.

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion devotion to causing a commotion
Creation vacation.

MARK
Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion to fashion to passion when it's new

COLLINS
To Sontag

ANGEL
To Sondheim

FOUR GIRLS
To anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg Dylan Cunnigham and Cage

COLLINS
Lenny Bruce

ROGER
Langston Hughes

MAUREEN
To the stage

BOHEMIANS
To Uta. To Buddha. Pablo Neruda too.

MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

ALL
La vie Boheme

MR. GREY
Sisters?

MAUREEN & JOANNE
We're close

ANGELS & COLLINS
Brothers!

MARK ANGEL & MIMI
Bisexuals trisexuals homo sapiens
Carcinogens hallucinogens men
Pee Wee Herman
German wine turpetine Gertrude Stein
Antoniotti Bertolucci Kurosawa
Carmina Burana.

ALL
To apathy to entropy to empathy ecstacy
Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols 8BC
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game.

COLLINS
To marijuana

ALL
To sodomy it's between God and me
To S & M

BENNY
Waiter ... Waiter ... Waiter ....... Waiter!

ALL
La vie Boheme

COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon
will commence immediately following dinner ...
Mimi Marquez clad only in bubble wrap
will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance
to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.

ROGER
And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary
about his inability to hold an erection
on the high holy days.

MARK
And Maureen Johnson just
back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot will perform Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder
while accompanying herself on the electric
cello - which she has never studied.

BENNY
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us.

MIMI
There's nothing to know

BENNY
Don'y you think that we should discuss...

MIMI
It was three months ago.

BENNY
He doesn't act like he's with you.

MIMI
We're taking it slow.

BENNY
Where is he now?

MIMI
He's right... Hmm where'd he go?

MARK
And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet evocative song.
(Roger plays a solo)
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz!"

COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions
from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.

ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist -
including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T.
virtual reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcasts the words:

ALL
"Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS"

MIMI
Excuse me - did I do something wrong?
I get invited - then ignored all night long

ROGER
I've been trying - I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage

MIMI
Life's too short babe time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I got baggage too

ROGER
I should tell you

ROGER & MIMI
Baggage

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI
AZT break

ROGER
You?

MIMI
Me. You?

ROGER
Mimi