McGruff The Crime Dog

Thank you, Osama
You are the savior
Of our economy today
Now that the dot coms
Choked on their stock frauds
Goldmine's Homeland Security.

Why not hire half the country
To spy on the other half?
No more unemployment
Or privacy enjoyment
Think of the dividends.

Who can we trust?
We trust McGruff The Crime Dog
Our O.G. TV Narc.

Since you've accepted being drug tested
At work, At school, At play, At home
You'll each rejoice at
Your new companion
Who follows you everywhere you go.

Always dressed in a trenchcoat
And a McGruff doggie mask
Never know who they are
Kuz you know better than to ask.

Who can we trust?
We trust McGruff The Crime Dog
Total Awareness.

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows when you've been bad or good
So be good for the sake of
McGruff the Crime Dog
Watching your every move
Your guardian angel in a doggie mask.

In bed while you're asleep
No home invasions
Beside you when you get it on
No date rape.

Stick a thumbtack up your butt
When you're slacking on the job
Together
We will protect our way of life.

Report all suspicious activity
Turn in your friends
Keep your home terrorist free.

Take a Bite Out of Crime
Take a Bite Out of Crime!