Mistletoe Alert (Explicit)

Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert.

I want a party to remember
The Festivus New York December
Fabulous and perfect fact
A party no one will forget.

The catering will be sublime
One of those waiters is more than fine.

I hope the guests will be impressed
At least I won't be underdressed.

Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert.

The holidays are a difficult time for me
So I prepare for the coming onslaught of eggnog
And office parties
Of shopping and ice skating
With copious amount of drugs and alcohol
To dull the screaming.

And if the party starts to waiver
I hope somebody brings party favors
Or at least something risqué
A little naughty
Or a little gay.

You look like shit
Are you okay?

I think it's too much red
It's making me anxious
Are you on something?
I think I may be hallucinating.

Well, then find a bathroom, Bateman
Splash some water on your face
Throw up, do something
Yeah, yeah, I'll see you in Hell motherfucker!

I'll put some X in the eggnog
Wait for a while
The girls relax
All the girls start to smile.

I'll open a gram
Watch them go
Now you see why Santa
Loves the snow.

Some fucking leaves
At the door
Can't wait till the girls
Are nailed to the floor.