Never Fall In Love (With An Elf)

He's several hours late
The skyline's getting dim
While others deck the halls
You dream of decking him.

My choice in men has always been
Pathetic, I suppose
The guy who stole my credit cards
The guy who tried on my clothes
And so a row of self-help books
Line my bedroom shelf
Well there's one rule those books forgot
You never fall in love with an elf.

His endless talk of Christmastown
Will test your every nerve
Still, he's kinda cute, I guess
Well, if you grade on a curve
And though you vowed you'd never sing
Just look at yourself
You're halfway through a Christmas song
Called "Never Fall in Love with an Elf".

The holidays will seem bittersweet
While you're alone in bed
But how can one girl ever compete
With a magic fat guy in a flying sled?

Go ask a hundred single girls
From here to Philadel.. . phia
They'll say it's clear as day
You're in for sleepless nights
If you date a guy
Who has a thing for tights.

Oh, never fall in love
Never fall in love
Never
Fall in
Love
With an
Elf
It's as clear as a jinglebell
If you are single
Well, don't fall in love with an elf.