Opening Doors

How's it going?
Good You?
Fair
Yeah tell me.

Chinese laundry
Hi
Mary
Say hello.

I think I got a job
Where?
True Romances.

Posing?
Thank you Writing captions
What about the book?
What about the book?

Nothing are you working on your book?
Yes …
Good
No.

Mary
Right I know yes me and Balzac.

I finished the one-act
I got an audition
I started the story
Rehearsal pianist.

So where are we eating?
I'm moving to Playboy
The publisher called me
I'm doing a rewrite.

My parents are coming
I saw My Fair Lady
I rewrote the rewrite
I sort of enjoyed it.

I threw out the story
I'm meeting an agent
We'll all get together on Sunday.

We're opening doors
Singing "Here we are!"
We're filling up days
On a dime
That faraway shore's
Looking not too far
We're following every star
There's not enough time!

I called a producer
I sent off the one-act
I started the story
He said to come see him.

I dropped out of college
I met this musician
I'm playing a nightclub
They're doing my one-act!

I'm working for Redbook
I rewrote the ballad
I finished the story
We started rehearsals.

I threw out the story
And then the musician
I'm moving to Popular Science.

We're opening doors
Singing "Look who's here!"
Beginning to sail
On a dime
That faraway shore's
Getting very near!
We haven't a thing to fear
We haven't got time!

How's it coming?
Good You?
Done
One minute.

Hamburg Heaven
Hi
Mary
Say hello.

I got another job
Where?
Chic
What's that?

A brand-new concept:
Pop-up pictures
What about the book?
What about the book?

Did you give the publisher the book?
Yes …
Good
No.

Mary
Look I
Finished!
Let me call you back
Right.

This is just a draft
Right
I haven't had the time to do a polish
Will you sing!!

Right
"Who wants to live in New York?
Who wants the worry the noise the dirt the heat?
Who wants the garbage cans clanging in the street?
Suddenly I do
They're always popping the cork "
I hate that line
"The cops the cabbies the salesgirls up at Saks
You gotta have a real taste for maniacs —
Suddenly I do!"

That's great That's swell
The other stuff as well
It isn't every day
I hear a score this strong
But fellas if I may
There's only one thing wrong:

There's not a tune you can hum
There's not a tune you go bum-bum-bum-di-dum
You need a tune you can bum-bum-bum-di-dum —
Give me a melody!

Why can't you throw 'em a crumb?
What's wrong with letting 'em tap their toes a bit?
I'll let you know when Stravinsky has a hit —
Give me some melody!

Oh sure I know
It's not that kind of show
But can't you have a score
That's sort of in between?
Look play a little more
I'll show you what I mean.

"Who wants to live in New York?
I always hated the dirt the heat the noise
But ever since I met you I".

Listen boys
Maybe it's me
But that's just not a hummmmmmmmmmmmmable melody!
Write more work hard
Leave your name with the girl
Less avant-garde
Leave your name with the girl
Just write a plain old melodee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee
Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee.

They're stopping rehearsals
They ran out of money
We lasted one issue
My book was rejected.

The nightclub was raided
I have to start coaching
My parents are coming
They screwed up the laundry.

My wallet was stolen
I saw the musician
We're being evicted
I'm having a breakdown
We'll all get together on Sunday.

They're slamming doors
Singing "Go away!"
It's less of a sail
Than a climb
That faraway shore's
Farther every day
We're learning to ricochet
We still have a lot to say.

You know what we'll do?
What?
We'll do a revue
What?

What?
We'll do a revue of our own!
What? Where?
Why? When?

Not just songs but stories scenes
Piano pieces mime
Yeah!

Frankly Frank
A showcase of our own?
Where?

The club's reopening
We'll write a lot of new stuff
Rewrite the old stuff.

What about the girl?
What about the girl?
Only that we're gonna need a girl
Well Mary.

Thanks I don't perform except at dinner.

Who wants to live in New York?
Who wants the worry the noise the dirt the heat?
Who wants the garbage cans clanging in the street?

Thank you for coming
Next eight please.

They're always popping their cork
Up a tone
The cops the cabbies the salesgirls up at Saks
Up a tone
You gotta have a real taste for maniacs
Thank you You're hired.

I'm Beth
I'm Frank
I really thought I stank
I'm Mary
Charley.

By the way
I'm told we open Saturday
What!
You're not serious!
Nobody's ready!

Apparently someone cancelled a booking
The songs aren't finsihed
And what about costumes?
And how do I learn all these numbers?
I'll bring you the copies of everything later this evening.

Okay but i'll have to have all the music and
Saturday i've got to sing at a wedding Oh
God is there dancing 'cause I'm not a dancer
Not to mention I still haven't finished the
Synanon song or the Kennedy number.

You don't have to we'll segue the
End of it into the dance we cut out
And what'll we do about getting publicity
Run around town putting stickers on windows?

And have we decided or not on the restaurant sketch?
I need two or three days to replace it
No we'll use it but not with the long introduction
We'll worry about it on Sunday!

We're opening doors singing "Here we are!"
We're filling up days on a dime
That faraway shore's looking not too far
We're following every star
There's not enough time!

We're banging on doors shouting "Here again!"
We're risking it all on a dime
That faraway shore's looking near again
The only thing left is when
We know we should count to ten
We haven't got time!
We haven't got time!