Smile, Girls

What you must keep in mind as the act curtains part
Is the primary law of theatrical art
Mainly, smile, girls, and you'll lay them in the isle, girls
If you smile, girls, they'll die on the spot.

Smile, girls, drive 'em crazy with your youth, girls
Flash a tooth, girls, give them everything you got
Witch an' it an awful lot.

Smile girls or we never gonna work girls
Just a smirk, girls, might well save the day
Get style, girls, and the customers will stay.

So smile, Angus, smile, Delorous
Smile, Phelma, smile, whatever your name is
Smile, Ednis, smile, Madre May, smile, girls
Make them think your being clever
But whatever happens smile no matter what.

When the scenery smacks you smile
When a stage hen attacks you smile
When they boo in the gallery smile
When I don't pay your salary smile.

When the comedy's dying smile
When you all feel like crying smile
When tomato's are flying duck but smile.

Smile, girls, it only hurts a while, girls
If you smile, girls, it's sure to go away
Get style, girl, even if you have to ham it.

But damn it, smile, Angus, smile, Dolorous
Smile, Phelma, smile, whatever your name is
Smile, Ednis, smile, Madre May, smile, girls
And when the act begins to sag drag out the flag and smile.