The Dirtiest Song That Ain't

Well I been around for a long time
And I learned along the way
If you wanna go on the radio
There are words you just can't say
Now I thought hard about it
And I found a way around it
Help me go on the radio
You gotta say those words I can't
You got to sing along
To make this song The dirtiest song that ain't
Come on, man! Won't you gimme a hand?
And say those words I can't?
You got to sing along
To make this song The dirtiest song that ain't.

Down in Carolina
I met a girl with a nice _ _ _ _ _ _
So I reached down between us
And I whipped out my _ _ _ _ _
We skipped right past the sucking
And got right down to _ _ _ _ _ _ _
She turned and said "I gotta ask
Will you slip it into my _ _ _?"

Help me go on the radio
And say those words I can't
You got to sing along
To make this song The dirtiest song that ain't!
Come on, man! Won't you gimme a hand?
And say those words I can't?
You got to sing along
To make this song The dirtiest song that ain't!

Her husband was a trucker
He was a filthy mother_ _ _ _ _ _
I didn't want to wrastle
With this no good stinkin' _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I heard his come through the kitchen door
But I was banging his filthy _ _ _ _ _
I knew i'd end up in a ditch
If he caught me riding his _ _ _ _ _

Help me go on the radio
And say those words I can't
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't!
Come on, man! Won't you gimme a hand?
And say those words I can't?
You got to sing along to make this song The dirtiest song that ain't!

"Mercy, please!" I told him
But he grabbed me by the _ _ _ _ _ _ _
And he did something heinous
He exposed his _ _ _ _
I said "I dont mean to seem crass
But why are you buttering up your _ _ _"
He said "My wife's a beard and she lured you here
Because I'm queer and I love it in the _ _ _ _"

You helped me go on the radio
By saying those words I can't
You had to sing along
To make this song The dirtiest song that ain't!
Sir and ma'm, thanks for lending a hand
By saying those words I can't!
You had to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song
The filthiest song
The dirtiest song that ain't!