The History Of Everything

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started —Wait...
The Earth began to cool
The autotrophs began to drool
Neanderthals developed tools
We built a wall (we built the pyramids)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery
That all started with a Big Bang!
Bᴀɴɢ!

"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song
A fraction of a second and the elements were made
The bipeds stood up straight
The dinosaurs all met their fate
They tried to leave, but they were late
And they all died. (They froze their asses off.)
The oceans and Pangea
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same Big Bang!
It all started with the Big Bang!

It's expanding ever outward, but one day
It will cause the stars to go the other way
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be there, it won't be heard
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating how we're here, they're catching deer
(We're catching viruses.)
Religion and astronomy, Descartes and Deuteronomy
It all started with the Big Bang, hey!
Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the Big Bang!
It all started with the Big Bᴀɴɢ!