The Mother's Day Rule

Hey, Mom, You're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb.

I remember when I was eight
My life was going great
My sister loved snapple there was no debate
Thought it would be funny to play a sweet prank
Take the plastic of the cap and put it in her drink
And when she sipped it I saw her start to choke
I couldn't foresee it'd get caught in her throat
Her birthday was ruined because of my stupid mistake
She never drank snapple again and I got all her cake
Thanks, Mom, for stepping up and saving the day (you rock)
I didn't want you to find out this way (love you)
Hey, Mom I did something, That wasn't that cool
So now I gotta follow that Mother's Day Rule.

Hey, Mom, You're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb.

And when I was fifteen I messed up again
Trying to impress some girls with my friends
See, I understand the ladies
And here was the scoop
Hot girls can't resist the sight of burning poop
So I found a dog lured him up the steps
Tried to feed him X-Lax
But he wouldn't ingest,
But I didn't stress out I just dealt with the glitches
I knew what I had to do
To impress these bitches
But the fire kept spreading
It wouldn't stay put
So my Mama had to step the crap out with her foot
Hey, Mom, I did something that wasn't that cool
So now I gotta follow that Mother's Day Rule.

Hey, Mom, You're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb
Hey mom (Do do do do do) your the bomb (Do do do do do)
Hey mom (Do do do do do) your the bomb (Do do do do do).

Sorry we hid so many things from you years ago
But here's a couple things you probably should know
I watched porn on the computer when I told you I never did
Put a sandwich in the vcr when I was a little kid
I punched a hole in the wall and hid it with a poster
Tried to cook a pizza in the mother flippin toaster
Thru a big ass party every time you where away
Plied to a hot neighbour and told her I was gay
And my fish might of died because I over fed
And I might of done some stuff with a girl in your bed yea.

Hey, Mom, You're the bomb for giving us a home
And not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone
I'm so glad Dad impregnated you
And nine months later I burst out of your womb.
[x2]