Zen And The Demise

I recall the innocent memories
Filled with pure evil
which I understand since childhood
Filled with evil of nature, its indifference to values.

To appear sane
I hid my wickedness
Remorse is for the weak
Damage is done
Bulletproof outside
Collapsing inside out
Thousands of thoughts bear a single mask.

Subconsciousness howls
Spoils the previous zen
The world is spinning so fast
I struggle to hold grip on reality
I sculpt a human shape
Out of pure void.

I've lived a thousand of lives
Death, madness and pettiness ploughed up my mind
My mind is overflowing with confusion
Loss, remorse and suffering ploughed up my heart.

Since she is gone
I am but a human shape in void
Rage
I rage, against the demise of the light
I won't go gentle into that good night
The scars of past shed light on my future.

Everything led to this point of my life
Inhale the star dust and watch the tears evaporate
The world still spins so fast
but now it has finally released me.

I give up the will to survive till the bitter end
But I can't resist that good night
That night is a bliss
It ties up all the loose ends
Loss is another face of love
and the horizon of pain
embraces redemption.

I am the unmoved mover of the worlds
Thousand faces of god's abandoned vessel
In disguise of one.

When I realized
All is lost, all the hope is gone
I let it all go for all is void
The glimmer of itself.

The void mirroring itself.

Everything led to this point of my life
Death, madness and pettiness showed me the way
To restore the balance I immerse myself
in the zen of beautiful suicide.