"A Flair For The Dramatic..."

[ALISON]
Caption: Dad goes out. Dad get the newspaper. Dad goes cruising? Dad picks up a hustler?
No, he didn't. Maybe he did, I don't really know. Who knows

[JOAN]
Allison, what happened?

[MEDIUM ALISON]
Dad finally responded to my letter

[JOAN]
Oh my God, what does he say?

[MEDIUM ALISON]
Dear Al
Big week at the Fun home. Couple of kids from Lock Haven wrapped their car around a tree, and I ended up working two 18 hour shifts. Bad for my blood pressure. Anyway, that's why I've been out of touch for a bit. Oh and by the way, we got your letter. Well kid talk about a flair for the dramatic

[BRUCE]
As far as I see it the good news is: you're human

[MEDIUM ALISON]
What does that mean? What else would I be?

[BRUCE]
Your mother's pretty upset though. Not surprisingly, I guess. But I'm of the opinion that everybody should experiment

[MEDIUM ALISON]
Seriously?

[BRUCE]
I can't say though that I see the point of putting a label on yourself
There have been a few times in my life when I thought about taking a stand, but I'm not hero. Is that a cop out? Maybe so. It's hard sometimes to tell what is really worth it

[MEDIUM ALISON]
God, I just...

[JOAN]
I'm sorry

[MEDIUM ALISON]
The tone is what I can't stand
It's so typical, so all-knowing. He has to be the expert. Lots of advice and wisdom on things he doesn't know anything about! I'm gay! Which means I'm not like him and I've never been like him and he can't deal with that. He still wants to be the intellectual, broad minded, liberal bohemian, but he can't pull it off 'cause he can't deal with me! And you know what, he never could, he never could

[BRUCE]
I need more coffee. Where is Betty?

[SMALL ALISON]
She went home. Lorna is on now

[BRUCE]
Oh
Where is your barrette? Put it back in. It keeps the hair out of your eyes

[SMALL ALISON]
So would a crew cut

[BRUCE]
If I see you without it again, I'll wail you
Now go get Lorna. I need coffee