Gee, Officer Krupke

Another Alley - l0:00 p.m.

Hey, you!
Who me?
Yeah, you!

(A-rab and Baby John stop surprised.)
Why it is Officer Krupke, Baby John

Top of the evening, Officer Krupke.

I'll crack the top of your skulls if you
Punks don't stop when I whistle, (exits; other Jets
Appear.)

Ya see, cops believe everything they
Read in the paper.

To them we ain't human. We're cruddy
Juvenile delinquents. So that's what we give 'em.

Hey, you!
Me, Officer Krupke?

Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason
For not dragging ya down the station house, ya punk!

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringing up-ke
That get us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks!

Gee. Officer Krupke, we're very upset
We never had the love that every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good!
There is good!

There is good, there is good
There's an tapped good
Like inside, the worst of us is good.

That's a touchin' good story!
Lemme tell you to the world!
Just tell it to the judge!

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all the marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!

Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an
Analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!
I'm disturbed!

We're disturbed. We're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.

In the opinion of this court, this child is
Depraved on account
He ain't had a normal home.

Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!
So take him to a headshrinker.

My father is a bastard
My ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

Yes!
Officer Krupke, you're really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick
"Und" sociogic'ly he's sick!
I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick
We are sick sick sick
Like we're sociologically sick!

In my opinion this child don't need to have
His head shrunk at all
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!
Hey, I got a social disease!
So take him to a social worker!

Dear kindly social worker
They say go earn a buck
Like be a soda jerker
Which means like be a schmuck
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk!

Eek! Officer Krupke, you've done it again
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he's no good!
I'm no good!

We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!
The trouble is he's crazy!
The trouble is he drinks!
The trouble is he's lazy!
The trouble is he stinks!
The trouble is he's growing!
The trouble is he's grown!

Krupke. We got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees
'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease
Gee, Officer Krupke
What are we to do!
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!