Gee, Officer Krupke

(imitating Officer Krupke)
Hey, you!

Me, Officer Krupke?

(as Krupke)
Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason
For not draggin' ya down to the
Stationhouse, ya punk.

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
Ya gotta understand
It's just our bringin' upke
That gets us outta hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses natcherly we're punks.

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset
We never had the love that every
Child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good!
There is good!

There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside, the worse of us is good.

That's a touchin' good story
Lemme tell it to the world!
Just tell it to the Judge.

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards that's what I'm so bad!

Right!
Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he
Needs a analysis's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
**He's psychologically disturbed
I'm disturbed!

We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed.

Hear ye, Her ye! In the opinion
Of this court, this child is
Depraved on account he ain't had a normal home
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!
So take him to a headshrinker.

My Daddy beats my Mommy
My Mommy clobbers me
My Grandpa is a Commie
My Grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness Gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

Yes!
Officer Krupke, he shouldn't be here
This boy don't need a couch, he needs
A useful career.
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically he's sick!
I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick
We are sick sick sick
Like we're sociologically sick!

In my opinion, this child does not need
To have his head shrunk at all
Juvenile delinquency is purely a
Social disease
Hey, I got a social disease!
So take him to a social worker!

Dear kindly social worker
They tell me get a job
Like be a soda-jerker
Which means like be a slob
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Gloryosky, that's why I'm a jerk!

Eek!
Officer Krupke, you've done it again
This boy don't need a job, he needs a
Year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he's no good!
I'm no good!

We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good!

The trouble is he's lazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growing
The trouble is he's grown!

Krupke, we got troubles of our own!
Gee, Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees
‘Cause no one wants a fella with
A social disease
Gee, Officer Krupke
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!