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If You Were Gay

- Robert Lopez (1999)
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You are listening to the song If You Were Gay by Robert Lopez, in album Avenue Q: Composer's Demo. The highest quality of audio that you can download is 320kbps . Also, you can play quality at 32kbps, view lyrics and watch more videos related to this song.

Album: Avenue Q: Composer's Demo.
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Lyrics

[ROD:]
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me
How could it get any better than this?

[NICKY:]
Oh, hi Rod!

[ROD:]
Hi Nicky

[NICKY:]
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

[ROD:]
That's very interesting

[NICKY:]
He was being real friendly
And I think he was coming on to me
I think he might've thought I was gay!

[ROD:]
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care
What did you have for lunch today?

[NICKY:]
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod

[ROD:]
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read

[NICKY:]
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about

[ROD:]
I don't want to talk about it
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!

[NICKY:]
Yeah, but

[ROD:]
OVER!!!

[NICKY:]
Well, okay, but just so you know—
If you were gay
That'd be okay
I mean 'cause, hey
I'd like you anyway
Because you see
If it were me
I would feel free
To say that I was gay
(But I'm not gay.)

[ROD:]
Nicky, please!
I am trying to read
What?!

[NICKY:]
If you were queer

[ROD:]
Ah, Nicky!

[NICKY:]
I'd still be here

[ROD:]
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book

[NICKY:]
Year after year

[ROD:]
Nicky!

[NICKY:]
Because you're dear
To me

[ROD:]
Argh!

[NICKY:]
And I know that you

[ROD:]
What?

[NICKY:]
Would accept me too

[ROD:]
I would?

[NICKY:]
If i told you today
"Hey! Guess what
I'm gay!"
(But I'm not gay.)
I'm happy
Just being with you

[ROD:]
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey

[NICKY:]
So what should it
Matter to me
What you do in bed
With guys?

[ROD:]
Nicky, that's GROSS!

[NICKY:]
No it's not!
If you were gay
I'd shout hooray!

[ROD:]
I am not listening!

[NICKY:]
And here I'd stay

[ROD:]
La la la la la!

[NICKY:]
But I wouldn't get
In your way

[ROD:]
Aaaah!

[NICKY:]
You can count on me
To always be
Beside you every day
To tell you it's okay
You were just born
That way
And, as they say
It's in your DNA
You're gay!

[ROD:]
But I'm not gay

[NICKY:]
If you were gay

[ROD:]
Argh!

"If You Were Gay" Videos

If you were GAY!!
If you were GAY!!
Jeff Marx and the Creation of Avenue Q
Jeff Marx and the Creation of Avenue Q
If You Were Gay - Avenue Q
If You Were Gay - Avenue Q
If You Were Gay
If You Were Gay
Jeff Marx’s Start In Musicals And The Origins Of "Avenue Q"
Jeff Marx’s Start In Musicals And The Origins Of "Avenue Q"
If You Were Gay - Avenue Q
If You Were Gay - Avenue Q
Avenue Q: If you were gay (selfmade)
Avenue Q: If you were gay (selfmade)
Avenue Q 15th Anniversary Reunion Concert @ 54 Below “Time” Jeff Marx John Tartaglia
Avenue Q 15th Anniversary Reunion Concert @ 54 Below “Time” Jeff Marx John Tartaglia
Will Thames - If You Were Gay
Will Thames - If You Were Gay
Jeff Marx Avenue Q: Q and A part 001
Jeff Marx Avenue Q: Q and A part 001
If you WERE gay!
If you WERE gay!
If  You Were Gay
If You Were Gay
Avenue Q sing "Only In Vegas" on Regis and Kelly - 9/5/05
Avenue Q sing "Only In Vegas" on Regis and Kelly - 9/5/05
If You Were Gay (Remus/Sirius) [Harry Potter]
If You Were Gay (Remus/Sirius) [Harry Potter]
Gachaverse|| “If you were gay” meme
Gachaverse|| “If you were gay” meme
Avenue Q Medley: Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx
Avenue Q Medley: Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx
If You Were Gay from Avenue Q
If You Were Gay from Avenue Q
Tenchi Muyo AMV - If you were GAY!!
Tenchi Muyo AMV - If you were GAY!!

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