Poor Thing

Isn't that a room up there over the shop? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out? That should bring in something.

Up there? Oh, no one will go near it
People think it's haunted
You see years ago, something happened up there
Something not very nice
There was a barber and his wife
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife
But they transported him for life
And he was beautiful
Barker, his name was
Benjamin barker.

Transported? What was his crime?

Foolishness
He had this wife, you see
Pretty little thing
Silly little nit
Had her chance for the moon on a string
Poor thing. Poor thing.

There were these two, you see
Wanted her like mad
One of 'em a judge
T'other one his beadle
Every day they'd nudge
And they'd wheedle
But she wouldn't budge
From her needle
Too bad. Pure thing.

So they merely shipped the poor bugger off south, they did
Leaving her with nothing but grief and a year-old kid
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, god forbid!
Poor fool
Ah, but there was worse yet to come
Poor thing
(again the shapes appear, this time a bit more distinctly
Johanna, that was the baby's name. .. Pretty little johanna
(tensely) go on.

(eyeing todd sharply)
My, you do like a good story, don't you?
Well, beadle calls on her, all polite
Poor thing, poor thing
The judge, he tells her, is all contrite
He blames himself for her dreadful plight
She must come straight to his house tonight!
Poor thing, poor thing.

(excited, almost gleeful)
Of course, when she goes there
Poor thing, poor thing
They're havin' this ball all in masks
There's no one she knows there
Poor dear, poor thing
She wanders tormented, and drinks
Poor thing
The judge has repented, she thinks
Poor thing
"oh, where is judge turpin?" she asks
(during the following, the judge appears, tears off his mask, then his cloak, revealing himself naked. The wife screams as he reaches for her, struggling wildly as the beadle hurls her to the floor. He holds her there as the judge mounts her and, the masked dancers pirouette around the ravishment, giggling)

He was there, all right
Only not so contrite!
She wasn't no match for such craft, you see
And everyone thought it so droll
They figured she had to be daft, you see
So all of 'em stood there and laughed, you see
Poor soul!
Poor thing!

(a wild shout)
Would no one have mercy on her?
(coolly)
So it is you benjamin barker.