Poor Thing

There was a barber and his wife
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a knife
But they transported him for life
And he was beautiful
Barker, his name was... Benjamin barker.

[Todd:]
Transported? What was his crime?

[Mrs. Lovett:]
Foolishness.

He had this wife, you see
Pretty little thing
Silly little nit
Had her chance for the moon on a string
Poor thing. Poor thing.

There were these two, you see
Wanted her like mad
One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle
Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle
But she wouldn't budge from her needle
Too bad. Pure thing.

So they merely shipped the poor bugger off south, they did
Leaving her with nothing but grief and a year-old kid
Did she use her head even then? Oh no, god forbid
Poor fool
Ah, but there was worse yet to come
Poor thing.

Johanna, that was the baby's name
Pretty little johanna.

[Todd:]
Go on

[Mrs. Lovett:]
My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, beadle calls on her, all polite
Poor thing, poor thing
The judge, he tells her, is all contrite
He blames himself for her dreadful plight
She must come straight to his house tonight
Poor thing, poor thing.

Of course, when she goes there
Poor thing, poor thing
They're havin' this ball all in masks.

There's no one she knows there
Poor dear, poor thing
She wanders tormented, and drinks
Poor thing
The judge has repented, she thinks
Poor thing
"oh, where is judge turpin?" she asks.

He was there, all right
Only not so contrite
She wasn't no match for such craft, you see
And everyone thought it so droll
They figured she had to be daft, you see
So all of 'em stood there and laughed, you see
Poor soul! Poor thing!

[Todd:]
Would no one have mercy on her?

[Mrs. Lovett:]
So it is you ... Benjamin barker.

[Todd:]
Not barker! Not barker! Todd now! Sweeney todd! Where is she?

[Mrs. Lovett:]
Oh, you poor thing! You poor thing
Wait
See! It don't have to be the sewers or the plague hospital
When they come for the little girl, i hid 'em
I thought, who knows
Maybe the poor silly blighter'll be back again someday and need 'em. Cracked in the head, wasn't
Times as bad as they are, i could have got five, maybe ten quid for 'em, any day
See? You can be a barber again.