Sticky Situation

NARRATOR:
The exact exchange and nuance of phrase in this ritual is very important.

FLICK:
You kiddin'? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole. That's dumb.

SCHWARTZ:
That's 'cause you know it'll stick.

FLICK:
You're full of it.

SCHWARTZ:
Oh, yeah?

FLICK:
Yeah.

SCHWARTZ:
Well, I double dog dare ya.

NARRATOR:
Now, it was serious. A double dog dare. What else was left,
but a triple dare you and the final coup d'egras of all dares, the sinister triple dog dare?

SCHWARTZ:
I triple dog dare ya. Ha ha!

NARRATOR:
Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat.

RALPHIE:
It's a sticky situation
'Cause if Flick is just full of hot air
That brings a raise in expectation
Now he's got no choice but doin' the dare

You can't skip the standard triple
For the 'triple dog dare' attack
But, Schwartz himself has said it
And there ain't no way of takin' it back

It's a sticky, sticky, sticky situation

FLICK:
All right, all right.

SCHWARTZ:
Well, go on smart ass and do it.

FLICK:
I'm goin'! I'm goin'!

NARRATOR:
Flick's spine stiffened. His lips curled in a defiant sneer. There was no going back now.

FLICK:
Dis is nuffin. Deck? Deck? Deck! I'm deck!

RALPHIE:
Geez! It really worked!

RALPHIE:
Schwartz' old man was right!

SCHWARTZ:
Told ya!

FLICK:
Hey, fellas! Don't leave me. Come dack! Come dack!

SCHWARTZ:
What're we gonna do?

RALPHIE:
The bell rang. We've gotta go back in.

SCHWARTZ:
But, what're we gonna do?

RALPHIE:
We get caught this close to Christmas? No presents. No BB gun. Let's go.

FLICK:
Hey, don' leave me. Come dack!

It's a sticky, sticky, sticky situation

NARRATOR:
As we bolted back to the classroom, leaving poor Flick fastened to the flagpole,
Only one lingering thought was on my mind: will we get our theme's back today?

MISS SHIELDS:
Mr. Dain. Ralphie. Flick, where is Flick? Has anyone seen Flick?
He was at recess, wasn't he? R-Ralphie, do you know where Flick is?

NARRATOR:
Flick? Flick who?

KIDS:
It's a sticky situation
In the thick of this crazy event

Should you try a lie?

An explanation over Flick
Might could have possibly been:

He was kidnapped!
He forgot his lunch
He died

You just sit
Don't dare admit it
If you're caught it might haul you to jail
And in jail, they don't have Christmas
And Santa doesn't answer your mail

It's a sticky, sticky, sticky
A sticky, sticky, sticky
A sticky, sticky, sticky situation!

MISS SHIELDS:
I said, has anyone seen Flick? Oh, my Lord!

FLICK:
It's a sticky situation
Oh, my gos, my tongue is to'ally numb

FIREMAN, POLICEMAN AND DOCTOR:
Sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky

FLICK:
Someone call my fam'ly doctor
And could you please ask my mommy to come?

DOCTOR:
Hot water!

FIREMAN:
Hot water!

POLICEMAN:
Hot water!

FLICK:
It's a sticky, sticky, sticky situation!

[FIREMAN/POLICEMAN/DOCTOR:
Hot water
Hot water
Come on, come on
Hot water

FLICK:
Sticky, sticky
Sticky, sticky
Sticky, sticky
Sticky, sticky

KIDS:
It's a sticky situation
It's a sticky situation]

It's a sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky

ALL:
It's a sticky, sticky, sticky

FLICK:
Ow!

ALL:
Sticky, sticky, sticky
Ow!

Sticky, sticky, sticky stituation
Ow!

FLICK:
Oooowww!