That Was Nearly Us

Did you see that couple there?
Can't say I did
Standing by the tree?
Really? Was it raining?
That was nearly us back there
Don't quite follow
Nearly you and me
Oh yes, I see. Brrmmm!

Bertie, you've been badly neglected
You need a wife who'll correct it
The secret with men, of course, is
To treat them a bit like horses
Did you see those lovers there?

No, I think they were pheasants, actually
Even you could see
Oh, lovers! I thought you said plovers, sorry
Oh, so nearly us back there
Was it? Nearly ran over them, then
Nearly you and me
Appear to be running out of cardboard.

Could it be we took some wrong turning?
Is this a lesson worth learning?
Can't you see that couple there
Could well have been you and me?

Hump back bridge!
That was nearly us back there
Wouldn't you concur?
Hairpin bend, hang on.

He was so like you back there
I could have been her
No, I think they were both very much shorter.

Here you are, so vital, attractive
Would that your brain was as active
You're nobody's intellectual
You hot-blooded het'rosexual
Oh, now, simmer down.

Was it merely lucky chance
Brought us here today?
Victims both of circumstance
Meeting you this way
Brrrrmmmm! Brrrrrmmmm!!

It's as though our lives had been frozen
Back on the paths we'd both chosen
Giving us a fleeting glimpse
Of all that was meant to be
That was surely us back there
It's as clear as day
If we'd both kept faith back there
Hadn't lost our way
Nearly there ... Here's the village.

What if we defied dull convention?
Stood up to shout our intention?
Steady!

If we'd followed our heart's volition
And shed our last inhibition?
Here we are! At last!
That's out future life back there
Cheerio then!
Bertie, can't you see?
You'd better hop in there smartish
That was meant for us back there
You don't want to get gangrene.

All we're meant to be
Time we took the plain facts and faced them
Turned in our tracks and retraced them
Back to when that couple there
So clearly were you and me.