The Hallo Song

It's an English tradition
We like to say hallo
We hope by shaking hands that we'll recall your name
We work on that basis, remembering faces
But that's about all
I know you're somebody something
It's on the tip of my tongue
You're either Edith Sitwell or the Bow Street Beak
I'll know who you are, the moment you speak ...
But meanwhile, just put in right there
How do you do?
How do you do?
How do you do?
Hallo again...
How goes it all?
Good day to you
You keeping fit?

So great to meet you
It's been an age
A tiny world
How do you
How do you
How do you
How do you.

How do you do?
How's life with you?
Good evening all
You're looking well
Well, hi there, stranger
Surprise, surprise
What could be nicer, meeting like this?
I confess I've forgotten
Who on earth you can be
It could be you're Nijinsky or the man next door.

How do you
How do you
How do you
How do you
How do you do?
You're either Pablo Picasso
Or maybe Harpo Marx
You might be Sarah Bernhardt no, you're Wittgenstein.

Whoever I am though, the pleasure's all mine
Let's take it and shake it right there
Well, fancy this
It's surely not?
I can't believe
Good Lord alive!
How long's it been?
You've hardly changed
You've lost some weight
I can't believe it!
It's been a while
You're just the same
How do you
How do you
How do you
How do you
How do you do?
What brings you here?
How's life back home?
How's business been?
And how's your father?

My sainted aunt!
What could be better, meeting like this?
Though I haven't an inkling
Not a clue who you are
You could be Amy Johnson.

No, I'm Al Capone. How do you
How do you
How do you
How do you
How do you do?
Aren't you Marlene Dietrich?
I think I'm Bernard Shaw.

It really doesn't matter who on earth you are
The truth of it all is our friendship's been far
Too long now to bother with names
It's just another episode
In the Wooster moral code
Let's extend the hand of greeting.

Hallo there, whoever you are
How do you do.