The Money Song

Help the homeless, help the homeless
Ooh, hey, hey, Princeton, give me a quarter
Here in my hat
Come on, Princeton, it's as easy as that.

Helping others brings you closer to God
So, give me a quarter
I don't have any change
Okay, give me a dollar.

What? That's not what I meant
Give me a five
Uh, are you kidding?
The more you give, the more you get
That's being alive.

All I'm asking you is to do
What Jesus Christ would do
He'd give me a quarter, why don't you?
All right, all right, here you go
Ah, thanks, take care.

Whoa, what's the matter?
I feel generous, I feel compassionate
You do? Yeah, yeah I feel like a new person, a good person
Helping other people out makes you feel fantastic
That's what I've been trying to tell you.

All this time I've been running around thinking
About me, me, me but where has it gotten me?
I'm gonna do something for someone else, me?
No, Kate I'm going to raise the money to build
That stupid Monster School she's always talking about.

Give me your money, what?
I need it for Kate, I need it to eat
Come on Nicky, oh, get lost
It'll make you feel great
So would a burger.

When her dream comes true
It'll all be partly thanks to you
So, give me your money, I'd like to but I can't
Give me your money, I'd like to but I need it
Give me your money, I'd like to but I'm homeless.

I can't, I need it, I'm homeless
I can't, I need it, I'm homeless
I can't, I need it, I'm homeless
Okay, here you go, thank you.

Suddenly I am feeling closer to God
It's time to stop begging
It's time to start giving
What can I give to Rod?

Something he'll like so much
He'll take me back
Ooh, I know I'll find him a boyfriend
That's the spirit.

When you help others
You can't help helping yourself
When you help others
You can't help helping yourself.

Hey boys, what's the hat for?
Ooh, we're collecting money
Oh, it's for Kate, we're raising money
To help build her dream school.

Give us your money
You'll be glad that you did
That's just what my parents told me
When I was a kid, shit.

But giving feels so great
And I bet it wouldn't hurt your chances with Kate
Well, that too, I'll give you a dollar
You're a gentleman and a scholar.

We so happy, we just exchange
All your wedding gifts for cash
Honey, don't tell them that
We get about 2,000 bucks
Um, yeah, so thanks everybody, we rich.

Give us your money
Give us your money
Give us your goddamn money
Give us the dough
Give us the dough.

We're raising money for a Monster School
But we've got all ways to go
Sounds like you've got money to burn
And it's not like money that you had to earn
So, give us your money.

A monster school, sounds like a good cause
Give me your wallet
Oh my gosh, I don't know how to thank you guys
I mean, Kate will be so grateful
That kind of money is such a great start.

Yeah, 15 dollars, yeah 15 dollars?
Every little bit help
Looks like we're gonna have to ask
More people.

Hey, give us your money
All that you've got just fork it on over
Or some puppets will get shot
It's time to pass the hat
And there's nothing you can do â€~bout that.

So, give us your money
Give us your money
Give us your money
Give us your money
Give us your money.

When you help others
You can't help helping yourself
When you help others
You can't help helping yourself.

Every time you do good deeds
You're also serving your own needs
When you help others
You're really helping yourself.

When you give to a worthy cause
You'll feel as jolly as Santa Clause
When you help others
You can't help helping yourself.