What Kind Of Girl Is She?

BOTH
Who the hell is-

SUSAN
Heidi?

HEIDI
Susan?

BOTH
What kind of girl is she?
I wonder sometimes if she
Even?

HEIDI
Likes me

SUSAN
Even likes me

HEIDI
She seems to make you smile

SUSAN
She's got a pretty, tiny nose

HEIDI
She's got a kick-ass style

SUSAN
She's got very kicky clothes

HEIDI
And she owns her apartment too?

SUSAN
I suppose

HEIDI
And mind blows

SUSAN
Quel jeun drefia? Susan and Heidi

BOTH
She seems so? je ne sais quoi

HEIDI
She seems so? incroyable

SUSAN
And I feel so? bourgeois

BOTH
That's just? moi
It's just

SUSAN
She's so uptown and fancy and Broadway

HEIDI
She's so downtown and funky and sassy

SUSAN
I wish I could sing like that
At least my nose could take her nose in a cage match of noses

HEIDI
I'm used to being the funny one in the room

SUSAN
I didn't sign the permission slip for any new lady friends, Hunter

HEIDI
She's got those eyes

SUSAN
She's got that boobs

HEIDI
I've got these thighs

SUSAN
I need your shoes

BOTH
Plus
She might try to steal my husband
She might try to have my baby
I guess I'll just sit back and wait and see
What kind of girl is she?
What kind of girl is she?
What kind of girl is she?

SUSAN
What kind of girl is

SUSAN/HEIDI
Are you gonna eat that pickle?