Dex The Whispering Dwarf

A holy man, with a whispering castrato
A wrinkled face, like a sun-dried tomato
H farms the hills of Brighthelmstone
Boring all with his persistent drone
In his holy red-striped shawl,
he tends to his sacred vegetables
He warns us we must live another way
Declares to all he can save the day.

Haha this-a-way, haha that-a-way haha this-a-way, my oh my.

Please refrain, you tire me so
You know nothing that is worth to know
The sky isn't falling, you're just very boring
You're Dex the Whispering Dwarf.

Drink your tea and shut your moth
Most boring man in all the south
Just smoke your buds and dig your spuds
You're Dex the Whispering Dwarf.

Who can save us from this yawn?
The most tedious person ever born?
We should call Roland, he'll know what to do
he'll save the day with a special brew.

Shut your mouth, you bore me so
You know nothing that is worth to know
The sky isn't falling, you're just very boring
You're Dex the Whispering Dwarf.

"Roland, we beseech thee: come save us from this terrible dwarf!"