The Bitch Of Chiselhurst Caves

Mead can do many things it can even make you blind
And the tavern wenches round these parts drive me out of my mind.

There's on such girl of whom I know who's been around the block
For fifteen duckets and a bucket of milk she'll even roost your cock.

She's for hire, baby.

Doff your cap and quaff your wine
For the Bitch of Chiselhurst Caves is mine
War your sons and tell your chums
She's the Bitch of Chiselhurst Caves.

If you take her home to stroke your bone and caress your mighty helm
She'll tie you to the bed & ride you 'til you're dead, she's the finest in the realm.

When you're worn right through and your balls are blue and your dreams full of delight
Don't be surprised if she takes all your gold and vanishes into the night.

"She wants my sausage" (But she'd better hurry up 'cos there's only one going)

So hide your stash and bank your cash, be wise and mark these words
You'll have your way but you'll have to pay, for the best-laid supper can turn to turds.