Meet The Plastics

[CADY, spoken]
Woah. Who is at that table over there?

[DAMIAN, spoken]
Don't look at them, just don't!

[DAMIAN, sung]
We call those three 'The Plastics'
They're shiny, fake, and hard.

[JANIS]
They play their little mind games
All around the schoolyard.

[DAMIAN]
They might insult your clothing
Or make fun of your name.

[JANIS]
Like they mocked Jen Morecock
'Til she burst into flames.

[DAMIAN, spoken]
And Ms. Morecock was a teacher.

[JANIS, spoken]
Regina George is the queen bee
She's always dressed up
She always wins Spring Fling Queen
We're just drones that work for her and then die.

[REGINA, sung]
My name is Regina George
And I am a massive deal
Fear me, love me
Stand and stare at me
And these, these are real.

I've got money and looks
I am, like, drunk with power
This whole school
Humps my leg like a chihuahua.

I'm the prettiest poison you've ever seen
I never weigh more than one-fifteen
My name is Regina George
And I am a massive deal
I don't care who you are
I don't care how you feel.

[JANIS, spoken]
That's Gretchen Wieners, she knows everything about everybody.

[DAMIAN, spoken]
That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.

[GRETCHEN, sung]
Yes, Regina
No, Regina
Every waking hour
I spend making sure Regina
George can stay in power.

If Regina is the sun
Then I'm a disco ball
'Cause I'm just as bright and fun
If you've had alcohol.

I rip your secrets out of you
And bring them to my master
Then I watch Regina make your life a big disaster.

[DAMIAN, JANIS]
Disaster!

[GRETCHEN]
Regina is the queen
But I'm the head of worker bees
I am seated at her right hand.

[DAMIAN, GRETCHEN]
Like a Jewish Princess Jesus.

[JANIS, spoken]
That is Karen Smith:
The dumbest person you will ever meet.

[Damian, spoken]
I once saw her put a “D” in the word “orange.”

[KAREN, sung]
My name is Karen
My hair is shiny
My teeth are perfect
My skirt is tiny.

It barely covers
My perky hiney
My name is Karen
I may not be smart...
That's it.

[REGINA]
Right
We never really do this
But how would you like to
Have lunch with us this week.

[CADY, spoken]
Oh, it's okay, I…

[REGINA, sung]
No, no need for you to thank us
There's no need to even speak.

[GRETCHEN]
You're new and you don't know things
You need good friends who can tell you what to think
See you here same time tomorrow.

[KAREN]
On Wednesdays we wear pink

[REGINA, GRETCHEN, KAREN]
On Wednesdays we wear pink!

[All overlap]
[REGINA]
Here's where you belong
Here's where you belong
Here's where you belong
Here's where you belong.

[GRETCHEN]
Yes, Regina
No, Regina
Every waking hour
I spend making sure Regina
George can stay in power
If Regina is the sun
Then I'm a disco ball
'Cause I'm just as bright and fun
If you've had alcohol.

[KAREN]
My name is Karen
My hair is shiny
My teeth are perfect
My skirt is tiny.

[REGINA, GRETCHEN, KAREN]
Wear something nice and grab a tray
'Cause we don't do this everyday
Say here's where you belong
Say here's where you belong.

[REGINA, spoken]
No, really. Say it

[REGINA, GRETCHEN, KAREN, sung]
Say here's where you belong!

[GRETCHEN]
Come sit with us tomorrow
It'll be fetch!