Group Hang

[Rebecca, speaking in a Latin accent]
The night was going perfectly, mi amor
We were having a romantic Mexican meal
Or Cali-Mex
Or Cali-Mex-Italian
I don't really know what this food is!
But our time together was cut short by the enemy of romance.

[Josh's friends]
La la, la la la!

[Rebecca]
It was a group hang
Group hang
You're so far away in a group hang!
A group hang, group hang
Do we really need all these nachos?

It was an intimate date
Just you and me
At a magical place
Where refills are free
Then your buddies showed up
And tore us apart
They're forces of evil
A knife through my heart

[Josh's friends]
Salsa, burritos, taquitos, guacamole pizza!

[Rebecca]
A group hang
Group hang
You're just out of reach in a group hang
A group hang, group hang
I'm so afraid of horses!

Now you're telling a story
‘Bout some dude named Jeffwad
And the time he “sprooshed,”
Whatever that means
Feeling left out, so I jump in and say.

[Rebecca, spoken]
I had a friend named Jeff once. He took bad mushrooms and jumped off the room of our dorm.

[Rebecca]
It was a group hang
Group hang
It just got weird in this group hang!
Group hang, group hang
It makes me so sexy sad.

[Josh's friends]
Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, español, arriba!
Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, español, arriba!
Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, español, arriba!
Guadalaraja, Sicily.

[Rebecca, spoken]
That's not in Mexico!

[Josh's friends]
Corned beef enchilada, pickle taco, salsa verde cheesecake
Bacon tamale, root beer margarita, taco stew!

[Rebecca, spoken]
Does the chef know what Mexico is?

[Rebecca]
A group hang
Group hang
What's this smoky tortilla soup thing?

[Rebecca, spoken]
I mean, really, am I crazy? There are-- I know there are people of Hispanic descent working at this restaurant.

[Rebecca]
A group hang
Group hang.

[Rebecca, spoken]
How are they not offended with the bastardization of their culture? Is it just me? Maybe it's just me
[Rebecca]
You're so far away at a group hang
[Rebecca, spoken]
I feel like I'm being gaslighted by this restaurant
[Rebecca]
A group hang
Group hang.

[Rebecca, spoken in Spanish]
Y ahora la parte más temida de andar con el grupo. ¡El cheque!