Story 2: The Great Day Arrived

MATILDA
And so, the great day arrived! It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. Everything was arranged by – [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] – the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart, she resented the sister, both her success and her love.

(The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. He stands up on a block.)

MATILDA
Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room.

MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST
Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been. .. cancelled!

MRS PHELPS
No!

MATILDA
Yes! The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon.

MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST
Cancelled, because my wife is. .. pregnant!

MRS PHELPS
Oh, Matilda!

MATILDA
Absolute silence. You could have heard a fly burp. Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation!

(An audience cheers. The ACROBAT enters from the back of the stage, and the ESCAPOLOGIST takes her by the hand. They embrace and exit out the back of the stage.)

MATILDA
The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour.

MRS PHELPS
So it has a happy ending!

MATILDA
Forgotten, by everyone except, that is – [She pulls her coat over her head.] – the Acrobat's sister. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced. .. a contract.

MRS PHELPS
A. .. A contract?

MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage]
"A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall!"

MRS PHELPS
No!

MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage]
"I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! A contract is a contract is a contract! My hands are tied. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or. .. off to prison you both shall go!"

MRS PHELPS
No! No!

(MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head.

MRS PHELPS
Well, what happened next?

MATILDA
I don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow.

MRS PHELPS
What?! I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow.

MATILDA
Mrs Phelps? Are you crying? Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more.

MRS PHELPS
Oh, no, Matilda. We must find out how it ends. And. .. I'm not crying because it's sad. It's just that they want that child so very much. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted.

MATILDA
Yes, wonderful. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps.)