Buttload Of Cats

It's come to this, like I knew it would
Since I'm now single for good
I know just what I gotta do
I gotta go get myself a buttload of cats
A buttload of cats!
A buttload of cats
Way too many cats
When you're a permanent bachelorette
It's mandatory that you go out and get
A buttload of cats
Oh, yeah!

I walk myself down to the Lonely Lady Cat Store
The smell is overwhelming inside
This is the future smell of my house
It's the smell of my dreams that have died
And cats!
I walk up to the cat shelf
Where the cats are labeled big and small
The saleslady asks, "Is there one you like?"
And I state, "I'll take them all!"
I want a buttload of cats
Meow a buttload of cats
Give me a buttload of cats
Meow a buttload of cats
Meow
The saleslady's pumped, she's closin' early
And headed home to her sad walk-up apartment
Filled with her own buttload of cats
Meow meow meow
That she got at a discount
Meow meow meow
'Cause she works at the cat store
Meow meow meow
Meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow.

Why have cats over time become
Synonymous with loneliness?
We gotta work on our collective image
We need a new publicist
The ironic part is, we're not that friendly
If you're lonely, we might make it worse
Also, we sleep, like, sixteen hours a day
Have you considered getting a dog?

Nope, I want a buttload of you guys
Okay, we warned you
A buttload of cats!
We're gonna ruin your couch
There's a lot of evidence that organisms in cat poop make you crazy
Yes, we saw that article in The Atlantic. And then we peed on The Atlantic
But I still want a buttload of cats.