Maybe This Dream

When I was a little girl
I felt like a princess
So naive and full of hope
I thought my dreams would come true
But then as I grew
The world was all like
Nope!
But this time, maybe, just maybe...

Maybe this dream won't lead to disgrace!
Maybe this dream is in reach!

Maybe this dream won't poop on my face!
Like at a seagull at the beach!

Maybe this dream won't be like my wedding
The organ played "There goes the bride"!
I came back.

Maybe this dream won't be like some maggots
Feasting on the rotting deer carcass of my pride!

Ah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!
Maybe this dream won't be like my vibrator
Breaking when I need it most!
Tweedle-deedle-dee!
Maybe this dream won't be like Ebola
Eating the flesh of its host!
Tweedle-deedle-doo!

Maybe this dream won't be like when I go running
And I have to take a dump
So I have to rush home
Plus I also have my period
So I have menstrual cramps plus dump cramps
And as I run frantically
I pee just a little
Because I've had two babies
So by the time I get home
My undies smell like a sewer rat!
Maybe this dream won't be like that!

Maybe this dream will finally make me feel
Like I deserve
A dream!