Let's Generalize About Men

[Verse 1:]
[VALENCIA]
Right now, we're angry and sad
[HEATHER]
It's our right to get righteously mad
[PAULA]
At every member of the opposite sex
[REBECCA]
Oh God, we hate them!

[Verse 2:]
[PAULA]
Let's not distinguish between them at all
[REBECCA]
Let's just drink a lot more alcohol
[ALL]
And then high-five each other
As we make a bunch of blanket statements.

[Chorus: ALL]
Let's generalize about men!
Let's generalize about men!
Let's take one bad thing about one man
And then apply it to all of them
Let's conflate all the guys
Let's generalize about men!

[Verse 3:]
[PAULA]
All men are completely repressed
(Uh-huh!)
[VALENCIA]
All men only want to have sex
[REBECCA]
There are no exceptions
All three billion men are like this
[VALENCIA, HEATHER, AND PAULA]
All 3.6 billion men!

[Verse 4:]
[HEATHER]
All men are emotionally stunted
[PAULA]
When asked how they feel, every man's always grunted
[REBECCA]
And why do men never listen and only think about themselves
As opposed to women, who always listen and never think about themselves?
[PAULA, HEATHER, AND VALENCIA]
Ooh, I hear you, girl!

[Chorus: ALL]
Let's generalize about men!
Let's generalize about men!
Let's get super-lit and not admit
This is a kind of primal ritual we need now and then
Maybe our spirits will rise
If we generalize about men!

[Bridge:]
All men are stupid and childish
Even the ones who are smart and mature
All men do each and every day
Is watch porn, eat wings, burp, fart, and snore
[REBECCA, spoken]
Hey, what about gay men?
[PAULA, spoken]
Oh no, gay men are fine
[ALL]
Gay men are all really great
Every single one
They're never mean, just sassy
They're all completely adorable and fun.

[Chorus: ALL]
So let's focus for now on straight men
Let's just generalize about them
[VALENCIA]
They're all monsters
[PAULA]
They're murderers
[REBECCA]
They're rapists
[HEATHER]
Totally.

[PAULA, spoken:]
Wait, I have sons
[REBECCA, VALENCIA, AND HEATHER]
Your sons are gonna be rapists!